Ahh…so I thought I’d start a blog. Everyone’s doing it and thought I’d jump on the bandwagon. But what do I have to blog about? Can’t blog about work, I like my job very much thank you. I could blog about my dogs, but beyond Benny yipping and Maia’s death stare as she waits for me to throw her fuzzy bone for the ellebenty billionth time, that would get boring fast.
Speaking of dogs, I guess I should introduce a picture of them.
Benny’s on the left and Maia’s on the right. They have the same parents, just different litters, three years apart. Argh, thought I wasn’t going to blog about the dogs! Back on topic…
So I guess I’ll blog about my hobbies. I mostly do two things when I have free time. I knit and I workout. I knit a LOT actually. I try to get a little knitting in each day and can get cranky if I am in the mood to knit but can’t fit it in, just ask my husband. Oh yeah, forgot to mention I’m married to a guy named Steve. We’ve been together 6.5 years now. Funny story how we met, which will have to be shared another blog day. Steve does not knit and so far shows no interest. Someday I hope to get him to at least try it. He’s not amused when he needs me to stop what I’m doing and hurry and I yell back “can’t – I’m in the middle of a row, you’ll have to wait until I get to the end.” And look out if I drop a stitch or mess up because I got distracted! Luckily I’ve mastered fixing mistakes and picking up dropped stitches. Or I get the L and say “Fuck it, I’m not fixing, I’ll adjust stitch count the next row.”
Enough about knitting, what about fitness? I like to run although I don’t do it nearly as often as I should. It seems to rain EVERY. DAMN. DAY. and I don’t run in the rain. I do Zumba and it’s my current obsession right now. I’d do it everyday if I could. When I say I do Zumba, what I really mean is I attempt to flail and hurl my body in the general direction that everybody else is going. I’m not known for my rhythm and dancing skills. I do quite a good impression of Elaine on Seinfeld dancing, except I’m not sure it’s an impression if I actually do dance like that.
There’s 4 Zumba trainers at my facility: G.I. Jane, Crazy Redbull Lady, The Jane Fonda-Richard Simmons Love Child, and Malibu Barbie.
G.I. Jane is awesome. She’s a no thrills, no complicated dance step type of lady who is there to make you sweat. I also think she could beat the shit out of most of the people I know. I like her, I can follow her dance steps.
Crazy Redbull Lady is great too but sometimes I think she’s a bit loco. She drinks redbull before class starts. She wears ginormous hoop earrings that hang halfway down to her shoulders. I’m afraid she’s going to rip them out, several times I’ve covered my eyes afraid I’d look up and see an ear on the floor. She wears full makeup as in foundation, concealer, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick. Any makeup I have forgotten to remove prior to Zumba melts within 5 minutes, I get that scary raccoon look and wonder why people are staring. Not Crazy Redbull Lady, it’s like her makeup is plastered into place. She also has the most insane amount of hair ever. It’s like she has 40 pounds of long brown and blond wavy hair that’s halfway down her back. This is the part that baffles me most, she wears her hair down to teach class. It’s like watching Cousin It try to dance and all you see is glimpses of a tiny face while the hair flies every which way. I don’t know how she does it.
Next is the Jane Fonda-Richard Simmons Love Child (that is if Richard Simmons liked women). I grew up doing Jane Fonda’s step aerobics VHS tapes with my mom and I’m pretty sure I did a few Sweatin’ to the Oldies. Who doesn’t love Richard Simmons – he’s completely awesome. Thing is, they were great in the 80’s, but not so much now. The Jane Fonda-Richard Simmons Love Child is not as awesome as her namesakes. She’s an older lady, probably early 60’s, and unfortunately she teaches some slow oldies 80’s style dance aerobics that she thinks is Zumba. I’m not a fan.
Finally, there’s Malibu Barbie. She can’t hit the beat, has no rhythm, and forgets her steps. She flails worse than I do. Her choreography is reminiscent of a 12 year old who thinks she has to gesture every motion while lypsyncing. All she’s missing is blowing kisses to a mirror.
Well I think that’s a sufficient intro for now…until next time.